I Always Wanted To Fly

­­­I always wanted to fly. Actually, more than anything, I think I always wanted to fly so I could be removed from the here and now.

Removed from the distractions of cars sounding their horns, people arguing down the phone or, perhaps more frequently, people so absorbed in their phones they feel like a dead weight in the space around me.
Removed from unfeeling communication – the frequent question of “How are you?” asked without any interest in an answer. The exchange of stupid words about the cold and the rain and the time of year and the comparison to previous lives and … it goes on. Indefinitely, if allowed.
Removed from these senseless walls everyone has built – walls designed to keep feelings in and people out.

 

Inhale.

 

My nose is cold against the tiny window of this plane. But if I get close enough, I can shut out the plastic seats, the bright lights, the coughing people, the warning signs. All I can see is the fiery orange of a setting sun carried out across the horizon by wispy clouds, resting atop canvas streaks of cerulean and jade.

 

Exhale.

 

I float over snow-crested mountain tops – peaks in a sugar bowl. There are no people here. No barriers here. I entertain the thought of being separate. Separate from this body, pulled down, down, down by gravity.

 

Inhale.

 

It’s peaceful here.

 

Exhale.

 

Only moments pass before I glide down, down, down. My eyes scour the sky and ground for someone to share this weightlessness with. Someone to … connect.

 

Inhale.

 

And so I think maybe, maybe I don’t want to be removed from the here and now after all. Maybe all I really want is to be present. Present. I try this thought on like someone else’s old leather jacket. It’s unfamiliar but smooth and pleasant in its creases; comforting in its heaviness. I want to be Present.

In that pause at the top of my breath, a thought hangs like dust suspended in the air:

I am Present.

 

Exhale.

sunset from plane

 

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1 Response

  1. Sarah says:

    Utterly beautiful. A breath of fresh air – literally x

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